Dating Someone in Debt or Has Bad Credit
It is said that “love is blind”, it may be added that in some instances love is deaf and mute as well.
But is love insolvent?
Is love OK with debt, and bad credit?
When we look at falling in love with someone, dating, and possibly being together forever, either as a couple/partnership or marriage and being a spouse, it does seem like an impossible, against the odds sort of event.
First you have to find that special someone in a vast sea of dating pools, then get to know them, get along, share interests, and have common ideas and goals.
Usually this means we find someone to date or love in a similar situation, or status as ourselves.
Even if we use one of the many, and I do mean many, online dating services, which can specialise in whatever we want; like people in uniforms, there is a web site for that. You name it, there is a dating site that caters to it.
The point here is when we meet someone and fall in love, we may share a lot about ourselves, we may talk of past relationships, travels, goals and aspirations, but it is highly unlikely we share credit scores.
We are not going to be discussing our wages or what we earn, if we owe money and are in debt.
It is not something that comes up on the first date, or may be a part of our “20 questions”, we ask when on a date.
What’s your favourite film?
Who is your favourite singer?
How much debt do you have?
Have you ever been bankrupt?
What is your credit score?
Money and credit are the last taboo.
There are things on the surface we can see when we meet someone and are signals and indicators as to if we might like them, and some are very overt.
You may like a person’s hair, face, clothing, manners, accent or how they speak. These may seem shallow and on the surface, but we can see them, and from this sort of formulate if we like them or not.
It is not so with someone’s earnings, credit score, debt load, or how they handle their personal finances.
This is information that is not shared, if it is shared at all, till much later. Much later when we may have already fallen down that deep rabbit hole called love.
There is a recent advert on TV which shows family, friends, and partners/spouses, stating they do not talk about or discuss money. Again, it is like a taboo.
One Partner Has Bad Credit
So there you are, madly in love with your Soul Mate, you’ve been together dating a few months now, or maybe even longer, and the questions start to come up.
You plan a holiday together, and one of you says they really cannot afford to go on holiday.
Perhaps you’re out and about and their mobile constantly is ringing, and they don’t take the call, or take the call and state they cannot discuss the matter at that time.
It could be you are visiting where they live and see post from a collection agency.
It could be a number of things, but some how the topic comes up, or is mentioned casually that one of you is struggling to pay their bills, and it may even be said they are in considerable debt.
How do you react or deal with that?
The initial reaction may be, it doesn’t matter, I love you anyway.
However, there may be implications and issues that arise later in the relationship, even though you really may not care if they are in debt, have a poor credit score, and are struggling financially.
Love is blind.
I am not saying or advocating should you hear this from your true love to “run Forest run”, and it may not truly matter to you, however, you just need to be aware.
So in a relationship, what may the next stage or step be… co-habiting, living together.
The dating scene is over for you, you have met “the one” and want to take things to the next level, living together.
In a lot of relationships you both have your own place, and it may be as simple as one moving into the other’s home.
However, there will always be the question of sharing bills and expenses. Outlining this can be as simple as splitting everything down the middle 50/50, to a more complicated system of one person paying some bills, and the other paying the remaining bills.
However, if you decide to move in together, and move to a totally new and neutral residence, you may need to apply for a tenancy agreement, which can involve a credit check on both of you.
If your partner has a low credit score, carries debts, and in general has a poor financial record, this could impact you being approved for a lease. And should you look to buy a property together at some point in the future, this could also affect getting a mortgage.
All points that must be looked at.
Then a common question that is asked when a couple look to move in together and one of them has bad credit, is does the person who has bad credit affect the other person’s credit score and do they now become responsible for the accounts/debts.
The answer is no on both counts.
Just living with someone does not make you responsible or liable for their accounts/debts, and they do not affect your credit score. Each person has their own credit score.
Unless you have jointly held accounts, or have guaranteed a loan, if your partner/spouse has bad credit, it does not directly affect you or your credit.
Does Debt Make You an “Undateable”?
Again two (2) points need to be made here:
* Love is blind
* No one discusses their debt or credit scores on the first date
However, a recent survey showed that two-thirds of those asked would have “second thoughts” if dating someone who was in debt.
And women were more likely to have those second thoughts.
The survey even went on to label what the respondents thought of as the least acceptable form of debt, payday loans.
The second least acceptable form of debt was credit card debt.
Which there is a lot of here in the UK, with a population of around 65 million, we have 60 million credit cards in circulation, with a total of over £63 billion outstanding!
The average card holder was shown to have just over £1,100 in debt or balances owed.
So debt matters when looking for a prospective partner in the dating world.